We listen to music because it makes us feel good, inspired, happy and uplifted. On the other hand, some music can subliminally make us feel sad, low, angry or agitated. People can be much the same. People are like pieces of music. You have to listen to their tune, recognise what they are really trying to say and how it makes you feel. It will either move you, make you dance or cover your ears! Ultimately it's ourselves who decide what the background music of our day will be. In the long term, we get to decide what music makes up the soundtrack of our lives, choose wisely.
So how do we realise when the music suddenly changes and the vibes are bad? It's called disrespect. In the English Oxford dictionary, this is defined as 'Lack of respect or courtesy'.
Disrespect has many vibes, flavours, faces and styles. It can start off with subtle put-downs, subtle messaging much like lyrics in a song with insidious undertones that are discouraging and disapprove of who you are. Sarcasm (still the lowest form of wit) and humour are often used to cross your boundaries but be aware its all still disrespect.
People will start to overstep your boundaries and slowly chip away at you until they slowly strip away who you are, what you stand for and how you live. They are not your friend but a foe. Those who respect you, what you stand for and how you live have no need to test your boundaries and will add to your life like a sweet symphony playing in the background.
Never let anyone get comfortable disrespecting you. Love appreciation and encouragement is a completely different vibration. No one can fake it and they will love you regardless and you will feel it much like uplifting music.
Who are we and when do we know whether someone is overstepping our boundaries - we feel it. It's the vibration, not the words or action, its the feeling. You can't ignore heavy metal playing on the radio and unless you're a fan you can get up and change the channel. Trust your instinct, it never lies. It also has nothing to do with you and everything to do with the other person. Don't accept it and remember the only apology is changed behaviour.
If you have to put a boundary in place know there's disrespect already. So always keep a boundary list in your head and when the music suddenly changes similar to that on a radio station recognise it and change your own vibration in kind:
1. Never let someone start to disrespect, intimidate or undermine you. When they overstep the line tell people, take action and take your power back.
2. Be yourself, there is no need to fit in anywhere, you are enough exactly as you are. Those who will love and respect you will do so regardless. Those who don't never will despite what you achieve or who you are. Don't be a people pleaser. Don't compromise your values.
3. Never feel defined by anyone or feel the need to conform to anything that doesn't resonate with your deepest self. Never adjust your boundaries to fit in.
4. Listen to your own heart, needs and instincts. Always remember who you are.
5. It is a privilege that you are sharing yourself not an obligation. You don't need to be anything but yourself.
6. Don't take it personally and don't be offended. Not one drop of your self-worth depends on the acceptance of anyone else.
7. Your time and energy are precious. Use them wisely and think of it as a commodity more valuable than gold.
8. Never allow anyone to make you feel that you are not good enough in any way.
9. Never let people minimise your life experiences. Be proud.
So go ahead build up the soundtrack of your life....what are the songs you play daily, who and what makes your heart dance?
If there was one song to describe you what would it be?